The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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