Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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