I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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