Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
so much tequila, so little girl.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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