And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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