This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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