i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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