Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
