I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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