Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
