OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Randomize
