all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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