Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
