It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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