so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
