I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
