dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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