So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't deserve a penis
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
