How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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