I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize