I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
