I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
