"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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