Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
