I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
