i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Where is the hickey?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
