Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize