I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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