I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
