my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
