Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm at about main and main street
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize