It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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