i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
