I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
