I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
