threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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