I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
