I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
