kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
