just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
