Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
