oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
there is puke in my bra ... again
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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