SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
