Small penises have feelings too.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
