Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize