He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I enjoy the company of your penis
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
