More tranny stories later!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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