laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
