Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
