We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize