am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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