"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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