you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
