Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
