I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
