Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I want a musical about memes.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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