ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
