Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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