Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
