I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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