he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
