theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
