if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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