took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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