I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
