One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
